The fact that you have this in front of you means that my husband, a very private person, made the heroic choice to allow his life to be read by you. Please respect his courage in allowing such transparency to move mountains in the lives of others, as we’ve struggled to dismantle our own mountain one pebble at a time.
I am confident that this book, rather than alienating my husband, will conversely lead to silent, revelatory connections with millions of like minds. Though I may not understand him, I trust that many of you will.
Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. MATTHEW 17:20
INTRODUCTION
We look like the perfect couple, or so I’ve been told. We’re healthy, happy people. We love life. We love our children. We aim to make wise choices and treat others well. We love nature and being outdoors. We walk and bike all over the place all the time. My husband did his dream job while I got to stay home and raise our kids. He retired early so we could move to a more remote place. We’ve lived in and traveled to amazing places. We’re smiling in all of our photos.
What photos don’t tell you is what has been missing. I have lived many years without daily outward expressions of love from my husband. I have yearned to be held, loved, enjoyed, conversed with, whis- pered to, looked at, listened to, and cherished. I’ve longed for him to pull me near or whisk me up, grab me close or hold me down. I’ve longed to see the look in his eye that says he loves me more than words can say.
I write all of this for you, reader. It’s so hard to write because it means pulling up deep wounds I’ve had to shove down each and every day in order to get by. But I write this for you in case it helps. I don’t have answers; I don’t have advice. All I know is that you might need to hear this in order to endure.
I know why it’s hard for others to write about this: how do you publicize a difficult union without jeopardizing it? It’s a risk.
He never meant to harm. But how do I do married life without daily expressions of a husband’s love?
I’ve asked myself that every day.
Neglect’s Toll on a Wife: Perfection’s Grip on My Husband’s Attention © 2023-2024 Lila Meadowbrook
