I had lost the only other adult I shared daily life with. While things had improved at home in so many ways over the years, the list of emotional comforts I still longed for in a husband remained absent. Allowing himself to get close to someone wasn’t a way of …
Not a week into living in our new place, my mom started saying things on the phone like, “So … have you started building that new mother-in-law addition to your house?” Or, “Is that cabin in the woods ready for me yet?” After a few months of saying, “Ha ha,” …
One thing my husband knew early on about himself was that he might hold onto certain personality traits if he didn’t make some monumental living changes when we originally tied the knot. That’s why he sold his condo when we got married. The day we came home from our honeymoon, …
We all get into routines based on life phases. Having a child means having an immediate routine impressed upon your life, with the feeding times, the naps, the activity times, and so on. I had never been a routine person in my life. I’m all about spontaneity, variety, new experiences. …
There I was early on, married to an ever-private person, hoping every day that our relationship would gradually improve. I didn’t want to talk with just anyone about the issues surrounding us. I wanted to respect his privacy and not cause any sort of bad reputation to form about him …
Thank God, a baby will not tolerate or entertain parental inflexibility. In the beginning of us, we had originally planned to have a few years together before starting a family. Six months after getting married, I clearly remember being at a Christmas party one night, unable to understand why the …
When I didn’t experience love in all the usual ways, my husband’s never-ending stream of passive tedium forced me into a daily life of controlling my own emotions so they wouldn’t get the better of me. Coping with his “stuff ” became the story of my home life with him. …
My friend in junior high used to call me a goody two shoes. I was innocent, got As, wasn’t crass, and didn’t cuss. No tattoos, odd piercings, hair dye, or the like. Walking the straight and narrow is no accurate predictor of a person’s interest in sexual intercourse, though sometimes …
Every marriage has some drawbacks. But imagine as many drawbacks as you can, all wrapped up in one marriage, instituted by one spouse: No conversational intimacy No listening on his part; only talking No emotional intimacy No everyday closeness No touch No physical intimacy (except on extremely rare occasions when …
I was waking every morning by myself, and I was going to bed every night by myself. He did a triathlon every morning and taught classes in the evenings, and would stay at the school until late at night to prepare for the next day. I knew this about his …
