Okay, that intro was heavy. Let’s back up for a minute.
I grew up the fifth of five children and have lived a charmed life. My brothers and sisters wore my parents down, so by the time I came around 11 years later, life was easy. My siblings gave my parents a run for their money in all kinds of ways, but they were almost out of the house by the time I was almost out of diapers. I was loved well by my big family, and I don’t ever remember watching or experiencing much discord.
What I do remember is an abundance of laughter and warmth. All the time. Home was a place of happiness, security, peace, and love. My mom has always been positive, almost to a fault. She won’t even let herself see the negatives in a negative situation. She loves people, she loves celebrations, she laughs at herself when she makes mistakes, and she never hangs onto anything hurtful. She forgives quickly, and she always encourages. Judgment was practically foreign in our house. I can’t ever remember my mom saying anything that hurt my feelings or anyone else’s. She never let us go out the door to school on a bad note, even if we deserved it. She always sent us on our way with positivity, swallowing any frustration in the air.
My dad, an engineer, was always practical, responsible, kind, and hard-working. I got lucky; because I came along later, I got to grow up with a retired dad who was always there for me. No busy-ness, no stress, all wisdom all the time. My parents were total right- and left-brain complements, and even though they were so different, they never criticized each other when they didn’t align. They were respectful, loyal, and lighthearted with each other. Argument and tumult didn’t exist in our house, at least by the time I came along. My parents ruined things for me. I remember thinking as a kid, “What if I get used to being loved so well that the rest of the world feels hard after this?” The thought was scarily prophetic.
A charmed life I lived, not only in the love sense, but also in just about every other way. When my siblings were all out of the house, my parents decided that the three of us would move to a tiny coastal town several states away. It was paradise compared to our hot, flat suburbia. My mom, a tree lover stuck in lifeless concrete for 20 years, longed to live in the woods with a view of the ocean. I think she thought something like that didn’t actually exist. But it did. We found a beautiful house among the pines, overlooking the sea. It was dreamy, and I spent my middle and high school years biking along the ocean, hiking through the woods with our dog, and feeling like every bit of our beautiful little town was mine.
Neglect’s Toll on a Wife: Perfection’s Grip on My Husband’s Attention © 2023-2024 Lila Meadowbrook
